Post Three: Better in the Morning - Birdtalker

 Ever since I heard this song over the summer this year, it has meant a lot to me. This is a beautiful song, not only in its lyrics but musically as well. It is well worth a listen.

Tired and worn from the patterns I've carved

I will do better in the morning
I'm afraid of who I'd be without you
I will do better in the morning

This beginning line is an introduction to Zach's feelings, this sense that he's in a cycle and is too afraid to leave it for the fear of what comes after. "I will do better in the morning" is a mantra he repeats throughout the song, one that I have said to myself time after time, making this a very personal song for me. It tells me that even though it may seem bad now, there's always a new light, a new day for things to be better.

Twisting up smokes, I'm in control
Til the fire burns out my miniature vacation
But I'm always left with the taste in my mouth
I will do better in the morning

This is in reference to him smoking, shown in the music video. Smoking allows him refuge from his life, his feelings. But the feeling afterward, that he will improve and be better tomorrow than he was today stays behind with him.

I only do what I have done
I will do better in the morning
Afraid of what I might become
I will do better in the morning

Stuck inside a cycle of opinions
Where there's two clear ways
And I always take the easy one
And I'm always left with the taste in my mouth
I will do better in the morning

It's easy to be exhausted with life and decisions, and often it's too tiring to take the "right" path, the harder way. With that, you often feel guilty about what you've done, or rather haven't done, but in turn, that makes you more exhausted, and the cycle continues. Again, with this mantra, "I will do better in the morning," he expresses hope that one day he'll break out of this cycle and be able to choose the harder path.

I learned shame when I was young
I will do better in the morning
Choked libido f***ed me up
I will do better in the morning

When you're taught to hide who you are, to hide your feelings from a young age, it's hard to break out of that when you're older. This is expressed, at least partially, in him with suppressed sex drive, which probably stems from a lack of trust and comfort he would've had if his upbringing allowed for it.

Suck me dry you uptight fakers
You stole from me lovemaking
I'm always left with the taste in my mouth
I will do better in the morning

The first line of this is relatable to me. There comes a point where you blame the people who made your life the way it is, and though that's not always the best thing, it shows you finally acknowledge where your struggles came from, that sometimes it's not a problem within you, but a result of your circumstances.

Behind my eyes a familiar child
I take his hand and he finally smiles

I love this part of the song because it shows he's finally growing, finally becoming a more complete version of himself. He's telling his younger self, who always says "I will do better in the morning," that it finally is better.

Be gentle with yourself as you uncover
Your best kept secrets yet to be discovered
In stillness, boys, clear water to the bottom
You will do better in the morning
I will do better in the morning

This part gives me the shivers - he has grown beyond a stunted, sad version of himself, has learned to forgive and to thrive, and is now encouraging others, telling them that they can do the same. 

I especially like this quote from him about this song:

"Better in the Morning is a love song to myself, but more broadly, to men. It is not weak to heal trauma and hurt. It is not weak to be gentle with yourself, to speak lovingly to yourself, and to accept yourself—it is beautiful. As contrary as it is to the bravado-software I may have learned is necessary to survive as a male in this world, this is a way into true peace and compassion for myself and for others."